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Markiplier/Quotes
Quotes General *"And I get coin- WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWUTHAPPENEDTOME?! Did you see that?!!!" - Mark and Ross' Grumpcade of Super Mario Kart Ep 6. When Mark gets gang banged by Luigi and Bowser. XD *'"JESUS BALLS AND ASS COCK!!!!!!!"-' Free Heart Attack; Black Rose * "You're still there! GO AWAY!"- Five Nights At Freddy's * "It's so peaceful and pretty I think I'm going to vomit." - Sightline: The Chair *"Hey lil' mama lemme whisper in ya ear..." - Thoroughly amused, Markiplier's Photobooth Fun * "Instructions not clear, got dick stuck in ghost." - Fatal Frame 2 - Crimson Butterfly * "Oh I'm so boned!/We're boned!" - Facing imminent danger or death. * "Get your mind outta the gutter!" - Quoted after anything remotely dirty. *"So... what about that?" ''- Questioning events'' *"Bing-bong! Bring it on!" - Fatal taunts, '''SCP: Containment Breach' *"Looking for the fastest time? Well, look no further than me, Markiplier, the greatest bottle-runner EVER!" ''- Self-entitlement, '''Happy Wheels Highlights #54' *"Excuse me? 'SCUSE ME?!" ''- Showing extreme confusion or fear in situations * AAHHH! IT'S A THINGY!!! - Common exclamation caused by fear *"Squeeeeeeeeeaaak!" ''- Opening a squeaky door'' * "O-whoa-K balls? In my face? Did not request balls in my fa-yaa...balls in my dinner. Who t-bagged my di-oook." - Sightline: The Chair *"To infini-nope and beyond." - Nope-ing out, '''Steve's Office' *"Hjababujajebaba!!" - ''"Shuffling" through a dense forest; christened "The Mumble Dance" by many Markiplites, '''Knock Knock' *"Can we do it? No we can't! ...Maybe. I don't know, I'm not very committed to this decision, but whatever." - ''Indecisiveness, '''Knock Knock' *"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" - ''Recurring innuendo joke *"I want to dance like an epileptic squid on acid." - On drugs, '''Death Dice Overdose' *"F you in the A and have a nice day!" - ''Preceding the outro; sometimes used as an alternate closer, '''DeathDice Overdose' *"SHUT UP NURSE! I KNOW WHAT'S BEST!" - ''Berating the nurse, '''Surgeon Simulator 2013' *"Holy balls!" -'' Recurring exclamation *"OH MY NARDS!" - Recurring e xclamation after genital harm '' *"Oh my God, I am tripping balls right now!" - ''Mark while dosed up on cold medicine, '''XCVB' *"That's seven, now I just need to find one more and then open the door, get on the floor, everybody do the dinosaur!" - ''Two pages to victory, '''Slender: The Nine Pages' *"Balls to the wall!" - ''Recurring exclamation, Evading SCP-173, '''SCP Containment Breach' *"I'm back at the red dildo! AGAIN!" - ''Rediscovering the giant silo, '''Slender' *"Stork flies out of your vagina? Isn't that how it works? Just, "BWAKAAAAW!!!" and then all the sudden you had a baby! And a stork. Better feed that stork." - ''About birth, '''Ildefonse | Part 2' *"What rhymes with axe? MORE axe!" - ''Butchering a body, '''Nightmare House 2' *"Fwiffwow!" - ''Guaranteed monster evasion technique *"One thing that I liked about being a bartender: if you make people laugh, you get better tips but you will never have better tips than the girl besides you with giant boobs ... I can make people laugh but God-damn I sure wish I had boobs... you can quote me on that" - Reminiscing his former bartender job, '''Ominous' *"He is going to nibble on your giblets!" - ''Describing the motives of every horrific creature in existence *"Don't be nibblin' on my giblets." - Mark's request for every horrific creature in existence *"WHEEEERE'S THE BLAAACKSMIIIITH?!?" - Mark's troubles, '''Eleusis' *"Let me AXE you a question" - ''Several bad puns later, '''Nightmare House 2' *"I mean what's there to know? Comes out of the vagina like WHOOM BANG! Suddenly you got a baby!" - ''As if it were obvious, '''Ildefonse | Part 2' *"So its da puun run!" - ''Every harpoon run, '''Happy Wheels Highlights' *"POOF! :3" - ''Shooting a flare, '''Toward The Light' *"F*CK!" ''- Following the destruction of the Crashy McSplodey, '''Kerbal Space Program' *"SHUT UP WADE, I'M HAVING A ROMANTIC SITUATION WITH A DINOSAUR! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!"- Berating Wade in the midst of a prehistoric date, Jurassic Heart'' *"EVERYBODY DO THE DINOSAUR!" ''- Recurring exclamation'' *"HAAA-BERSKY" ''- Flipping a lever, pressing a button'' *"I dunno if that's Masky or not but i'm just gonna call him the Lil' Douchebag!" - About Kate, '''Slender: The Arrival' *"No, thank you! I don't want any!" ''- Starting to lose confidence *"Shut up, nurse! I'm a doctor, of course I know what is best!" - Berating the nurse, '''Surgeon Simulator 2013' *"Ding-dong, damn it!" - ''Doorbell troubles,'' (Source needed)'' *"Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why...? So many times I ask this question... why?" - Why?, '(Source needed)'' *"Apparently the mechanics of this game is that you need to recharge your lantern, so... GUH-reat, that makes total sense."'' - Questioning logic, Segatakai'' *"Nope, nope, nope, nope"'' - Recurring exclamation; continues for as long as panic ensues'' *"HEY SLENDY! YOU'RE AN A-HOLE! YOU'RE AN ASS!" ''- Foolishly taunting the Slender Man, Slender: The Arrival'' *"Little piggy, no no! Little piggy, go home!" ''- Attempting to ward off Chris Walker, Outlast'' *"I'm just the greatest! And the smartest, the bravest, and the handsomest!" ''- Over-confident boasts, often preceding an embarrassing failure'' *"Helloooo, baaaayby! How YOU doin'?" - Flirtyplier, flirting with angel statues, '''Amnesia: The Dark Descent' *"Let's just nope off to Fuckthatville!" ''- Dying inside, Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs *"To be or not to F*CK OFF!" ''- Moment of Shakespearean goodness, Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs'' *"Hello? Anyone else want to dance? ...I'm great at the tango! ...And the macarena!" ''- Over-estimating his abilities, Dead Space 3'' *"Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to...."' '''- Mark's introduction'' *"And as always, I will SEE YOU... in the next video! Buh-bye!"' '''- Mark's outro'' *"Markiplier Out!" ''- Mark's old outro quote'' *"WHERE THE F*CK IS JOHN KEITH?" ''- Questioning John Keith's whereabouts, The Crooked Man'' *"Why are there nipple penises?" - Shocked at Goku's makeover, '''Drunk Minecraft | GOKU'S NIPPLES' *"You sunuva bitch" ''- Recurring stressed exclamation *"YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!" ''- Damning every monstrosity to hell where they belong'' *"I knew they would stab me in the back... I'll just have to stab them in the back... I'll stab them in the butt... That's what I'll do..." - About his traitorous 'friends', '''EVERYTHING GOES WRONG | Nether Gameplay #2' *"Thor! I told thee to calm thine tits! Thine tits are very rambunctious." ''- Trying to calm the thunderous storm, '(Source needed)'' *"EW, YOU'RE SO WEIRD!" -'' Trying to evade a blindfolded/gagged prisoner in a straitjacket, '''Outlast | Part 4 | SCARIEST MONSTER YET!!'' *"Do it. I am Cornholio." ''- Being threatening under a new alias, Turbo Dismount | BOB THE RAGDOLL'' *"Double-Finger Defense!" - A call-out for his main form of defense, Amnesia: When Life No Longer Exists | Part 2 | DOUBLE-FINGER DEFENSE *"I'm going to shove this ball so far up your ass your gonna be coughing up green." - Making cringe-worthy threats, '''Tenebris Lake | Part 6 | EASTER EGG' *"NO THANK YOU." ''- Rejection, '''Dungeon Nightmares' *"Let a gentleman show yo-- FUCK." - ''Failing mid-sentence, Flappy Fedora: EUPHORIA OVERLOAD *"You need a glass o' water?"'' - Confused and not understanding of the term "dead"'' *"I am a man! ...aaAAAAHHH NOO!" ''- Quickly proving his claim wrong, Slenderman (Original Game)'' *"I don't LIKE this game, but I know how to beat it." ''- Seconds from near-disaster, SCP: Containment Breach | Part 10 | WORST SCARE EVER'' *"Oh... YEAH! I made it through one room..." ''- Seconds from death, SCP: Containment Breach'' * "Oooh, you're SO right behind that door-or-oor!" - WARNING: SCARIEST GAME IN YEARS | Five Nights at Freddy's - Part 1 *"...OH F*CK YOU! OH GOD, WHAT THE F*CK! ...What the f*ck, okay?! NOT okay! I was just... listening to a nice conversation! ...No, you cannot change RULES!" ''- After sighting Golden Freddy,' WAS THAT GOLDEN FREDDY?! | Five Nights at Freddy's - Part 2' * "Fuzzy bear if you're there I'm gonna kill you, by stuffing you ''OUT of your suit" - (Empty) Threat to Freddy, '''Five Nights at Freddy's 'Not-So-Official' Ending - Part 3' * "You do you, and I'll do me. And we won't do each other... probably. That was a good poem right there" - ''A well-recited poem, '''Five Nights at Freddy's: Secret 6th and 7th Night' * "I beg of you. I beg every single fibre of your delicious, fluffy body. Please let me have as much time as you can give me. Please take, your sweet-ass time" - ''Desperate words to Freddy - '''Five Nights at Freddy's: 20/20/20/20 COMPLETE' * "New Chica is not fun. New Chica is unfun. New Chica is least fun." - ''Talking about Toy Chica - '''SCARIEST GAME EVER MADE | Five Nights at Freddy's 2 - Part 1' * "Also, how is the guy on the phone, NOT DEAD?! There's gotta be some way that like, he died but he's not actually dead. He's part of it all! He's part of it all, he's gotta be!" ''- Conspiring about Phone Guy - '''BONNIE AND CHICA ARE BACK! | Five Nights at Freddy's 2 - Part 2' * "HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEEY! HEYEYEYEYEYEEE! BACK OFF! BACK OFF! BACK OFF! YOU'RE TOO CLOSE! AAAH STRANGER DANGER, GET BACK FROM ME!!!" ''- Freaking out over Old Bonnie and Old Foxy - '''ENDLESS CYCLE OF DEATH | Five Nights at Freddy's 2 - Part 3' * "Things are about to get a little weird because, Spiderfreddy, Foxy, Spiderfoxy, whatever. The Mangle, I don't care. It's Spiderfoxy in my opinion!" ''- Naming The Mangle - '''READY FOR FREDDY? | Five Nights at Freddy's 2 - Part 4' * "You know what's going on. You're the guy, you're-you're-you're Golden Freddy probably" ''- Questioning Phone Guy's identification '- WELCOME TO THE FAMILY | Five Nights at Freddy's 2 - Part 5'' * "Don't wake the baby. Don't wake the baby. Don't wa-Go f**k yourself. I'll just be here, in my Freddy head. Please go, go away, and diiie" ''- 'Why Can't We Be Friends - Five Nights at Freddy's 2 Version - Sung by Markiplier '''- GOLDEN FREDDY'S SECRET | Five Night's at Freddy's 2 - Part 6 (ENDING)'' *"Hello... I'm an SCP now! S-C-P...M-A-R-K...I-P-L-I-E-R. The most lethal... SCP around..." ''- Newfound classifications, SCP: Containment Breach | Part 34 | MOST JUMPSCARES EVER!!'' *"Wa-booo! OOOH! ...oooo-oOOOO..." ''- Creepiness ensues, SCP: Containment Breach | Part 34 | MOST JUMPSCARES EVER'' *"Doooooon't dick with me... aaAAAAAHH F*CK!" -'' '''Space scares, '''BIGGEST OCULUS RIFT SCARE | Deep Down in Space (Oculus Rift Horror)'' *'"'''Hi... I'm sorry were you naked? Is this the bathroom? Am I coming out of the poop hole?!" - ''Sanitation at its finest,'' Amnesia': ''The Four Horsemen * "Wanna run that by me again?" - Recurring exclamation * "Did I won?" -'' A confusing victory, '''Happy Wheels Blindfolded w/ TOBUSCUS' * "ARGGHH! You gotta be kiddin' me? - ''Repeated line, '''Octodad: Dadliest Catch' * "YOU GET BACK HERE YOU B****" - ''Repeated line, '''Octodad: Dadliest Catch' * "Well, isn't this fan-fricken-tastic!" - ''Moments before breaking a metal gate with a shovel, Amnesia: The Things in the Night | Part 23 | PUNCHED MY MONITOR * "Life's hard. Shouldn't you be too?" - Referring to the Nota-Pe-Nis 3000 'Wilford Warfstache' *"You all think you know what's best? Ooobviously you do not know what is BEST! *inhale* Wilford Warfstache knows what's best!" ''- Warfstache playing Dr. Nigel, Amnesia: Rain | Part 6 (FINAL) | ENDGAME'' *"...DOING, DANG, DO-DUHN!" -'' Playing the piano, Amnesia: Rain | Part 6 (FINAL) | ENDGAME'' *"Good evening everybody, my name is Wilford Warfstache with the AFC News!"'' - Warfstache's introduction'' *"Well, it seems that the Slender Man has a... roMANTic interest that we need to interview him about! A-huh-huh! What a sissy!" ''- Searching through the woods,' Warfstache Plays: Slender' *"Oh, it was so ugly, I'm glad he ripped it down." -'' About the Slender Man's drawings, '''The Fall of Slender Man' *"The Slender Man. Once the most feared creature in all of existence, now a registered sex offender and heroin addict." ''- Introducing the Slender Man, '''The Fall of Slender Man' *"SHUT THE F*** UP, MOTHER F***ER!" ''- Talking to the Phone Guy, '''Five Nights at Freddy's: The Interview' 'Mark-Bot' *"I just got more RAM installed. High-five for me. Aaanyone? Aaanyone?" - ''Self-congratulations from Mark-Bot, '''Two Idiots Play Starcraft | PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT (2012 livestream)' *"Do you think... do you think Kelsey would date a robot?" "''She's married..." "You're right. WHAat a bitch." -'' Mark-Bot referencing Five Second Films, Two Idiots Play Starcraft | PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT (2012 livestream)'' *"I am a Bro-bot. Let's get some bitches, and go out to the bar." ''- Mark-Bot the Bro-Bot, Two Idiots Play Starcraft | PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT (2012 livestream)'' *"A robot has mechanical balls because it is there for you to suck."'' - The Swedish robot's logic on the existence of robotic gonads, Two Idiots Play Starcraft | PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT (2012 livestream)'' *"Mark-Bot engaged! M-You thought you had forgotten about Mark-Bot?! Mark-Bot is back!" ''- The return of Mark-Bot, Charity Livestream | Alzheimer's Research (2013 livestream)'' * "Mark-Bot. Mark-Bot. Mark-Bot is back. Bob have you met Mark-Bot? Mark-Bot is back." - Bob unwillingly meets Mark-Bot for the first time, '''Charity Livestream | Alzheimer's Research (2013 livestream)' *"Thank you... Wade... for resurrecting Mark-Bot. Mark-Bot is happy, that Mark-Bot is back." ''- Gratitude, '''Charity Livestream | Alzheimer's Research (2013 livestream)' 'Santa Claus' *"Ho-ho-holy hell!" - ''In great peril',' '''Happy Wheels Highlights' *"Jingle balls, jingle balls, harpoons up my ass!" - ''Running through harpoons, Happy Wheels Highlights #26 *"Let me just hump this until it makes seeeeeense!"'' '''- Confused and bewildered, '''Happy Wheels Highlights'' *"GET IN THE HOOOOOLE!"'' - Sexual innuendo?,' Happy Wheels Highlights' * "Kiiidddiiiesss!!!", Happy Wheels Highlights * "Jingle jingle jingle bitches" - Happy Wheels Highlights #12 '''Darkiplier' * "I don't quite feel like myself..."- Raspy Hill * "Open your mind and accept your buttox to my knife... I mean knowledge... *raises eyebrows* "- Murder The Crazed Butt Stabber * "TOO LATE! HE'S IN YOUR HOUSE! AND YOU DIE! Dead... from multiple stab wounds... to the butt." -Intruder See Also *The Fall of Slender Man/Transcript